The Myth Of The Anal Probe by David Larson

Author:David Larson [Larson, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-09-21T07:00:00+00:00

Twelve:

Mike and Bob were sitting on a picnic bench facing each other in the large open-air dinning facility. I like it by Cardi B was playing in the background.

“I have to say buddy,” Bob said “I’ll give the tune a 10 but I must be missing something in the translation on the lyrics.”

“You probably aren’t,” Mike said. “Are you hearing about having lots of sex, cursing, racial slurs, and bitches, in two languages?”

“Pretty much,” Bob said.

“Then you’re hearing it right.”

“As much time as I’ve spent on the animal farm I have to say I don’t get youse guys,” Bob said.

Another man that Mike had seen around the “village” came over and patted Bob on the back.

“Room for some company?” The man asked.

“Hey Briz,” Bob said, “grab a seat. Have you met the earthling yet?”

“No, I have not,” the man said smiling at Mike, “but I’ve certainly seen his interview on the box. Quite the shakeup I’d say.”

“Mike, this is Brizio,” Bob said as the man sat down next to Bob. “Brizio, this is Wildman Mike.”

Bob leaned over toward Brizio and said conspiratorially, “He ain’t from around these parts.”

“Hi Mike. Nice tunes by the way,” Brizio said as he pointed to the ceiling.

“Thanks,” Mike said “nice to meet you.”

Bob and Tawny had decided that Mike needed a distraction after the interview. Mike had been pretty broody since then, and for good reason. It’s hard to lay bare all human frailties in front of people that truly don’t understand Earth’s animalistic nature. Bob thought it would be a good idea to give Mike control over the entertainment after dinner.

“Brizio,” Mike said, “that sounds a lot like Earthly Italian.”

“From what I understand,” Brizio said, “it is.”

“There are quite a few things here that remind me of Italy,” Mike said. “Even your language sounds like a cross between that and something else that I can’t quite put my finger on.”

“Hawaiian,” Bob said.

“Yeah,” Mike said as he turned off his translator, “Hawaiian. That’s an odd combo. I thought that’s what it was when I got here, but that was too wild of a connect.”

“We tend to adapt pretty quick here,” Brizio said. “Our original language is closer to pure Hawaiian, or Samoan than what we currently speak. But that kind of makes historical sense, doesn’t it.”

“How?” Mike asked.

“If you were going to populate your planet,” Bob asked him “where would the most beautiful place on Earth be, that was also secluded enough to start the colonization without too much outside interference?”

“I guess I’d have to say in the South Pacific islands,” Mike said.

“Bingo dude. So, before you rupture your brain testicles any trying to do the relatively easy math; Mike and Gloria, your Adam and Eve, were Hawaiian.”

“I’ll be damned,” Mike said.

“Probably,” Bob said, “especially after what we all heard on your interview.”

Mike just glared at Bob.

“Wait a minute,” Mike said. “How could you have started this whole mess in Hawaii? Humans have been on the Earth longer than the Hawaiian Islands have existed.”

“First,” Bob said “all of that is as far as you know.

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